English For Today chapter 10: Lifestyle
- English For Today
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Textbook (verbatim transcription): Lifestyle
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Printed page 171
Unit Ten: Lifestyle
Lesson 1
Manners Around the World
A. Look at the pictures. Where are the people from? What is common among them? Do you notice any difference? What difference is most obvious here?
Figure
Description: a line drawing of two men shaking hands.
Figure
Description: a colour photograph of two people with painted faces, wearing beaded necklaces and patterned headwear, with their foreheads touching.
Figure
Description: a photograph of several men in dark suits standing in a row, all bowing forward with their heads lowered.
B. Read the texts describing the manners and etiquettes in different countries. Then work in pairs to identify their similarities and dissimilarities with those of your own country.
| Dining | Gift | Greetings | |
|---|---|---|---|
| China | Sit where you are instructed to sit. Be graceful and polite when taking food with chopsticks. Don't make much noise when eating or drinking soup. Don't play with chopsticks or point at anyone with them. For a formal dinner wear formal dress. | Do present and receive things with both hands. Politely refusing a gift before accepting it is the norm in Chinese culture, so don't be discouraged when someone initially refuses your gift. White flowers are not good as gifts as they symbolise death. | Shake hands softly as a firm handshake could be considered a sign of aggression. It may make your Chinese friends feel uncomfortable. Greet the most senior first and gradually others. Children are expected to greet you rather than you greeting the children. |
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| Dining | Gift | Greetings | |
|---|---|---|---|
| South Africa | Arrive on time. Wear casual clothes. Offer help to the hostess with the preparation of the meal and clearing up after the meal is over. The guest is served first, then gradually the oldest male, rest of the men, children, and finally women. Do not begin to eat or drink anything until the oldest man at the table has begun. South African people usually do not use left hand in taking meals. | In general, South Africans give gifts on birthdays and Christmas. It is common for several friends to share the cost of a gift. If you are invited to a South African's home, bring flowers and good quality chocolates to the host family. | When dealing with foreigners, most South Africans shake hands with a smile while maintaining eye-contact. Some women do not shake hands and merely nod their head, so it is best to wait for a woman to extend her hand. Men may kiss a woman they know well on the cheek in place of a handshake. Greetings are leisurely and are marked by good cheers. |
| Great Britain | If you are invited to a dinner wait until your host(ess) indicates you to begin eating. You may use a piece of bread on a fork to soak up sauce or gravy. Never hold the bread in your fingers to do this. You may eat chicken and pizza with your fingers if you are at a barbecue, or in a very informal setting. Otherwise always use a knife and fork. | It is customary to take a small gift for the host if invited to a home. This is usually flowers or chocolates. Some people may send flowers in advance of a dinner party but it is equally acceptable to take them on the day. Gifts are opened on receipt. | A handshake is the most common form of greeting among the British people and is customary when you are introduced to somebody new. It is only when you meet a friend of the opposite sex whom you haven't seen for a long time, that you would give a kiss on the cheek. |
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| Dining | Gift | Greetings | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Middle East | Use your right hand when picking up and eating food; never your left hand, which you keep at your side. Do not place your left hand on the table, and do not use it to pass food. People use spoons, forks and knives, if necessary, and hardly any utensils. | Gifts are given frequently to show love, gratitude and respect. Anytime you are invited to someone's place, bring a gift. The most common gifts are food items such as pastries, chocolates, sweets and cookies. Dates are also commonly given as gifts. People also value food and arts and crafts items from other cultures. | The most common greeting is salaam alaykum ('May peace be upon you'), to which the reply is waalaykum as salaam ('and peace be upon you too'). Shaking hands (between men) is an important gesture of mutual respect. Hugging and kissing on the cheeks between same sex people in social situations are quite common though it is strictly forbidden between men and women. |
C. Read the text in Activity B again and put a tick mark against the country to which the activities mentioned in the columns above apply.
| Country | Handshake | Hugging | Kissing on the cheeks at social ceremonies | Giving flowers | Using the right hand to take foods | Using both hands to give gifts | Use of knives and forks most of the time |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| China | |||||||
| South Africa | |||||||
| Great Britain | |||||||
| Middle East |
D. Work in pairs/groups. Make a presentation on Bangladeshi etiquette of dining, exchanging gifts, and greetings.
E. Listen to Ms. Antara Gomes, an English teacher in a college. She is telling her students about table manners.
(Audio recording) Transcript:
Hello guys
Hope you all are well. You know manners and etiquette are so vital in our life. We cannot claim ourselves civilized when we lack them. Every society has particular manners and etiquettes to follow. Etiquette is also very important
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nowadays when you are online or surf in the virtual world. Netizens i.e. habitual or keen users of the Internet, call it netiquette (etiquette you show on the net).
Anyway, today I'm going to share with you something related to manners – table manners. Have you heard of Kyle Ingham? Kyle Ingham is the Founder and Editor of The Distilled Man, an online channel that helps young people become well-rounded gentle persons. Read what he says about table manners and see whether you maintain any of these manners.
Table Manners 101: Basic Dining Etiquette May 20, 2017 | By Kyle Ingham |
When you hear the words "table manners" you may just think of arbitrary rules for rules' sake. But at their core, manners are just about being considerate and respectful to the people around you.
Table manners are particularly important. Let's face it.
People are usually disgusted when you're eating with a person chomping and slurping and burping and splattering. Because of that, table manners have always been a good 'tell' about someone's overall refinement, their upbringing, and self-awareness around other people.
Why Table Manners Matter Often the reason someone might be concerned about your table manners isn't because your lack of manners bothers them. Instead, they might be worried it bothers someone else.
For instance, when you eat dinner with your friend's family for the first time, s/he may not care that you behave like a total buffoon at the table when you're just around him/her but s/he may worry that the parents will be bothered by your poor dining etiquette, because good manners are a sign of respect.
You may not practice perfect table manners at home but these are needed when you eat out or have a dinner in somebody's house.
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That's also why nowadays employers will often take you out to dinner as part of the interview process. Again, maybe the hiring manager doesn't care if you have bad table manners, but they may worry that your potential clients will be bothered that you eat like an absent-minded caveman.
So, my thought is, even if you don't practice perfect table manners at home, you should know how to behave for those important occasions.
- What is your opinion about table manners?
- Do you agree with Mr. Ingham's explanation on the importance of table manners? Why/Why not?
F. Mr. Ingham has given some tips on table manners especially when you are eating with others. His tips cover a number of areas which are mentioned in the box. Read each of the tips from number 1-7, match them with the title of the areas given in the box and write them in the blank spaces. The first one is done for you.
Excusing yourself from the table Being part of the group Eating food you don't like Requesting help Starting the meal Body language Chewing and talking
Today we're going to talk about some simple guidelines that will help keep your table manners on-point throughout an entire meal. Listen to the audio or read on.
When you're just about to sit down at the table, that's a good time to silent your phone– you don't want to be THAT GUY whose phone is going off throughout the meal. You should also wait until everyone is gathered at the table before sitting down. And sometimes it's good to take a cue from the host or hostess. Make sure you don't take a special seat– like the head of the table, or inadvertently steal the best seat.
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Body language When you're sitting down, your posture should be upright and attentive. Make sure you are not slouching or leaning back in your chair.
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As much as you might want to just tear into your food when it comes…wait until everyone else is served before starting. If it's a very formal dinner, you should also wait until the host or hostess gives the indication to start eating. But usually, you're safe to start if everyone's food has arrived.
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Just because the butter is just close enough that you can grab it doesn't mean you should. Stretching across the table or reaching over someone else's plate is a big 'No'. If something is within arm's length and you can reach it without disturbing someone else's space, that's OK. Otherwise, politely ask them, "Can you please pass the…?" Also, remember that when someone asks for the salt, make sure to pass both the salt and pepper…and vice versa.
What if you're at someone's house and they serve something you don't like? Rather than avoiding it altogether, the polite approach is to serve yourself one or two bites, and at least taste it. (Unless you are so allergic that it makes your face puff up like a basketball– which is not polite either ... ). It's okay to leave a little bit on your plate to show that you tried it, and just HOPE they're not too insistent on you having seconds.
You probably already know that you shouldn't talk with your mouth full of food. Try to avoid smacking and chewing loudly, and keep your mouth shut while chewing. The easiest way to do this is to just take smaller bites– especially if you know you're going to be in and out of conversation throughout the meal.
If you need to get something out of your mouth (like a piece of gristle i.e. food stuck between your teeth), you can use your fingers to quickly and discreetly take it out. But try to cover your mouth with your hand or your napkin while you're doing it. Once you grab the piece of food, quickly and quietly put it on the edge of your plate.
6.________________________________________ If you need to go to the bathroom or get up from the table during the meal, you don't need to ask for permission. You also don't need to say where you're going. Just say "excuse me, I'll be right back." Then get up quietly and leave the table without disturbing the others.
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7. ________________________________________ Dinner is meant to be social. Make sure you take part in the dinner conversation, and also take note if it seems like you're eating much faster or much slower than everyone else. By the end of the meal, some people take a few glasses of water in gulps and some people consider it worthy to belch out publicly, which are weird. If drinking water is a need, take in little sips without making any sound and wipe your lips. Don't sneeze or make any foul sounds to clean your throat in front of others. Make sure you are not scattering food around your plate. Nobody likes to experience a messy dining table.
G. Now, read how Mr. Ingham concludes his tips on table mannars. To understand the conclusion you need to fill in the gaps in the text below with suitable words taken from the box.
gentle person appreciate proper realize offended keep up accepted are behave manners
Conclusion
I know sometimes ______ and etiquette seem arbitrary. But at the end of the day, these guidelines ______ established as a universal set of ______ behavior– so that we can all ______ civilly around each other. Not everyone is going to be ______ if you don't follow these guidelines. But once you learn these basic table manners, you ______ that they're not difficult to ______. So why not practice ______ dining etiquette? It certainly isn't hard to try, and many people will ______ that you are conscientious enough to behave like a proper ______ at the table.
H. Reflect on your everyday dining practices and write whether these tips are helpful for you. If yes, why; if not why not?
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