English For Today chapter 13: Loneliness

Unit Thirteen

Loneliness

Learning Outcomes

after we have studied this unit, we will be able to

• know new words and extend our vocabulary
• read a text and understand overall meaning
• infer meanings from the context
• answer and give opinions on a given topic

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Lesson 1: Loneliness: Causes, Effects and Prevention

A. Look at the picture on the previous page and guess what the person might be feeling. Make a list of those emotions and describe them briefly.

B. Let’s read the following excerpt.

What is Loneliness? Causes, Effects and Prevention

By: Lindsay Modglin

Loneliness is a universal emotion that most of us experience at least once during our lifetime, although certain events, such as an illness or a pandemic, can make it feel more pervasive. If you’re currently experiencing feelings of loneliness, you aren’t alone. In fact, a 2020 study by Cigna found that 61% of Americans reported being lonely in 2019, up from 54% in 2018.

No matter what events are occurring around you, understanding loneliness and its risks is important for recognising when you may need support. Read on to learn what loneliness is, its causes, long-term risks and ways to cope with the emotions that may come up when you’re lonely.

What Is Loneliness?

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines loneliness as the “affective and cognitive discomfort or uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone or otherwise solitary.”

In other words, loneliness is the mental or emotional discomfort you may experience from either being alone or feeling as though you are alone. This feeling stems from your social needs not being met and/or an inability to get the social connection you desire.

Loneliness vs Being Alone

Although loneliness and being alone are commonly confused, being alone doesn’t necessarily mean someone is lonely. “Loneliness is a feeling, while being alone is a situation or state of being, which is not inherently negative,” says Nina Vasan, M.D., psychiatrist and professor at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief medical officer at Real, an online mental wellness membership site.

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“You can feel lonely even when you’re surrounded by other people—such as a partner, family, co-workers or friends,” continues Dr. Vasan.

It’s also possible to be alone, but not feel lonely, she adds. “For example, if you’re by yourself but connecting to others through good communication or activities like volunteering, you don’t feel lonely.”

What Causes Loneliness?

There are various demographic factors that may contribute to loneliness. Although Dr. Vasan notes that anyone can feel lonely at any time in their life, a few groups that stand out as having an increased risk of loneliness include “young adults, mothers with young children and the elderly.” Immigrants are also at higher risk for loneliness, continues Dr. Vasan.

You may experience loneliness for a variety of reasons, but it can often stem from a major life change. A 2020 study by the University of Edinburgh suggests that the causes of loneliness differ depending on the age of the individual. For example, older adults experience loneliness more frequently as a result of living alone, while middle-aged individuals aren’t as likely to report living alone as a cause of their loneliness.

This discrepancy between what causes loneliness in older adults versus those who are middle-aged could be due to the fact that older adults have retired and no longer have the community and daily interactions of work life, explains Nikki Press, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City. Older individuals are more likely to have lost friends and family members, and they are more likely to experience medical or physical limitations that restrict their opportunities for activities and socialising, continues Dr. Press.

Other common causes of loneliness include:

• The death of a close friend or family member
• Physical isolation, such as living alone or moving away from family and friends
• Illness or disability
• Retirement
• Working alone

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How to Cope with and Prevent Loneliness

Just as the cause of loneliness can vary from person to person, coping and prevention strategies can also differ. In general, the goal is to make strong, healthy connections that fulfill your need for social interaction.

While there is no substitute for help from a mental health professional, the following tips may help you build emotional connections.

• Find hobbies you enjoy: Taking part in activities you enjoy can be a great way to meet others with similar interests. Consider a book club, art class, fitness group or any other activity where you can interact with others who enjoy the same things.
• Volunteer for an organisation you support: Volunteering will not only give you a sense of accomplishment and pride, but it’s an opportunity to meet others who support that same organisation.
• Join support groups: Support groups are an excellent way to connect with others who you have something in common with, such as a mental or physical condition.
• Routinely contacting family and friends: Attempting to stay connected, even if only by phone or video chat, can help nurture your emotional health and help prevent loneliness.
• Maintain a healthy diet and regular exercise regime: Living a healthy lifestyle promotes overall wellness and reduces your risk of chronic medical conditions—which could interfere with your social life.

Regardless of your interests, it’s important to listen to and fulfill your desire for social connection. This can help diminish feelings of loneliness or isolation, and could help improve the overall quality of your life.

(Abridged)

C. Answer the following questions.

1. What difference is there between being lonely and being alone?
2. What feelings a person may have when he/she is lonely?
3. What factors influence older adults’ loneliness?
4. Can you name some of the common causes of loneliness?
5. How can a person cope with loneliness and improve their quality of life?
6. Have you ever felt lonely and sad in your life? What was the reason for your loneliness and how did you overcome the situation?

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D. Fill in the blanks with the correct information from the above text.

1. Every human being must feel lonely……… in a lifetime.
2. “You can feel lonely even when you’re ……….by other people—such as a ….., family, ……….. or friends”.
3. Volunteering will not only give you a sense of ………... and ……….., but it’s an opportunity to meet others who support that same organisation.
4. Staying connected via phone or video chat, can help ………. one’s emotional health and help ………. loneliness.
5. A few groups that stand out as having an increased risk of loneliness include “young adults, ………… with young children and the…………..”

E. Discuss in pairs and draw a mind map of causes, effects, and ways of preventing loneliness. A sample mind map of “Flood” has been done for you below.

Figure

Labels: Causes; Deforestation; Heavy rainfall; Broken dams; Overflowing rivers; Flood; Negative Effects; Death of living beings; Damage of houses and property; Spread of various diseases; Increase in the price of daily commodities; Positive Effects; Farming lands become fertile; A boost in the fish stocks; Removes sediments in rivers Description: A mind map with three cloud-shaped bubbles. The "Causes" bubble on the left has an arrow pointing to the central "Flood" bubble. Two arrows lead out of "Flood": the upper one to the "Negative Effects" bubble at the top right, and the lower one to the "Positive Effects" bubble at the bottom right.

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Lesson 2: A Poem

A. Read the following poem titled “Solitude” by Ella Wheeler Wilcox and answer the questions that follow.

Solitude

By Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone; For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth, But has trouble enough of its own. Sing, and the hills will answer; Sigh, it is lost on the air; The echoes bound to a joyful sound, But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you; Grieve, and they turn and go; They want full measure of all your pleasure, But they do not need your woe. Be glad, and your friends are many; Be sad, and you lose them all, There are none to decline your nectared wine, But alone you must drink life's gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded; Fast, and the world goes by. Succeed and give, and it helps you live, But no man can help you die. There is room in the halls of pleasure For a large and lordly train, But one by one we must all file on Through the narrow aisles of pain.

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B. Look up the dictionary for the meaning of the following words and make a sentence with each of them.

Weep Shrink Decline Rejoice Nectar Gall Mirth Succeed

C. Answer the following questions from your understanding of the poem you have just read.

1. Explain the following lines in your own words i) “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone;” ii) “Succeed and give, and it helps you live, But no man can help you die.”
2. Why do the mountains echo the songs that we sing but not our sighs?
3. When do you have many friends and when do they leave you?
4. What does the poet imply about the nature of friendship and companionship in the poem?
5. Do you agree with the poet’s view that people are only present during happy times but absent during struggles? Why or why not?
6. How does the poem reflect the idea of self-reliance and inner strength?
7. What is the central theme of the poem "Solitude"?

D. Write a summary of the poem in your own words (100 words).

E. Write a letter to your best friend about your activities when you feel lonely.

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